Poison
by meow139
Summary: Tabitha Creedman, a nineteen year old author who is quite comfortable with her life, thank you very much, is thrown in to a tailspin with what she discovers in her parlor one night- two dwarves who only want to get back home. Kili/OC (Tabby) Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

The field was chaos. Dwarves, Men and Elves fought tirelessly against the menacing goblin-warg army. Bloodied corpses were strewn all across the field, and eagles flew through the sky. A massive bear charged at the goblins, who howled in terror as the bear ripped them to shreds with his claws.

In the midst of all the hellish carnage, there was yet one noble sight to be beheld. The two heirs of Durin, brothers Fili and Kili, nobly defended their wounded uncle, the great Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain.

Fili and Kili fought side by side. Their beloved uncle lay behind them, bloodied and injured. The brothers were a blur, a flurry of movement, destroying all enemies who dared to come near.

Fili swung his two swords expertly, cutting in to goblin after goblin, warg after warg. The more skilled with a sword, he cut the goblins as they attempted to try to come near the great king.

Kili, however, was more skilled with a bow, and he fired with deadly accuracy unmatched by any goblin.

With a twang, one of Kili's arrows hit its mark and a beastly goblin fell, dead near his feet. Fili slashed at one's hand, and oily black blood poured out of the deep wound. It howled in pain and fled.

An arrow spun through the air, hitting its aim. Fili cried out in pain and clutched his shoulder, where the arrow had hit. A warg took this opportunity to jump him, going for his neck. Fili slashed its throat before it could get too close. He cried out in pain as a blade impaled his abdomen, before being roughly yanked out. Kili could only watch in horror as his brother fell to the ground.

At the younger brother's distraction, the same goblin archer sent an arrow towards him. It struck Kili in the arm, but the young Dwarf barely felt it as he pulled it out swiftly and spun around to face his attacker. The goblin sneered before being abruptly slain by one of Dain Ironfoot's men.

Kili jumped to defend his brother, who was on the ground, still and unmoving. Looking at his body made Kili want to throw up, but he continued fighting for his brother and uncle.

Three arrows loosed in rapid succession struck Kili in the chest. He fell to the ground.

He immediately realized that something was wrong. He felt slow and heavy, and could barely move. It took an immense deal of effort to just crawl the short distance to where his older brother lay. Fili's head was turned towards him, and Kili saw the pained look in his brother's eye. He tried to speak to him, to say that they would be fine, it would be alright, they had been through worse together, they would make it out alive. But his tongue was thick and heavy in his mouth, and he was unable to make out the words.

Kili watched as his brother, his older brother with whom he had laughed with and joked with and suffered with, who had been his constant companion for seventy seven years, a great nephew and a loving brother, slipped away. Kili watched as his brother's eyelids drooped and fell shut.

No. No! Fili couldn't be dead, no! He wanted to cry, wanted to jump up and slay the entire army of goblins and wargs on that field for taking away his brother, his best friend. But he found himself paralyzed, barely able to breathe properly, never mind fight. His last thoughts were of his uncle. Would Thorin be alright? If not… All of his life had had lived recklessly, content in the sure knowledge that should anything go wrong it would be Fili, not he, who would be next in line to the throne. But now… He slowly realized that he would not have to worry much longer, as he felt an odd lightness as his own eyelids slowly closed. He briefly reflected on all the things he had loved in this world. Rain, flowers, food, music, archery- his uncle and his brother. These were the things that had brought him happiness and he blearily wondered what was in store for he and his brother now, before drifting off in to nothingness.

XXX

Tabitha Creedon slowly closed her laptop. It had been another hard day at work for the nineteen year old author, and she was quite ready to go to bed for the night. She stood to exit her study, briefly glancing down at the new children's book she was writing.

As she walked in to her room, she was greeting by a familiar sight. Lynx, her Persian cat, was curled up in her bed pillows. Her three exotic fish, Costa Rica, Jamaica and Antigua floated lazily in their tank on her desk.

"Hey Lynxie." Tabitha, or "Tabby" as she was commonly called, greeted with a yawn. As she changed into her pajamas, she accidentally knocked a picture off of her bedside table. She reached down to pick it up, and was greeted by her grinning face. She and her younger sister, Ashley, posed in a comical fashion, making faces. Tabby smiled at her image, the slightly overweight redhead, with her shoulder length curls tied back in a tight knot and her green eyes wide behind purple glasses.

Tabby missed her sister. Ever since she had moved out, she hadn't seen either Ashley or her other sister, Clarice, much. Actually, she didn't see much of any of her family members at all, with Tabby so focused on her writing all the time. She was lucky if she spoke with her mom over the phone once a day.

"Ah, but such is the life of a writer." Tabby commented to Lynx, crawling in to bed. She quickly fell into a light sleep.

XXX

Tabitha was awoken at precisely three in the morning by two loud bangs that seemed to come from her front parlor. Lynx hissed in surprise, but Tabby shushed her.

"What the hell was that?" She whispered to her cat, before realizing that she was whispering to a cat, and quickly jumping out of bed. She pressed her ear against one of her walls, knowing that she could hear directly in to the front parlor from that exact spot.

There was silence.

'_Oh god, oh god, oh god,'_ Tabby thought to herself, inwardly terrified. '_Don't freak out, you',_ she scolded herself mentally. '_Be strong. For the cat.' _As you can see, Tabitha doesn't have many friends.

Grabbing a flashlight, she hesitantly walked out of her room, into the living room. Nearly tripping over the couch again, she slowly walked to the door of the parlor. She could still hear nothing. She fleetingly wondered if there was an insane man with a gun waiting for her to open the door, but she pushed these thoughts aside nervously.

As she slowly opened the parlor door, she shone the light in to the room, behind the miniature table. What she saw made her scream in horror and slam the door.

There were two figures lying on her floor. They were not moving, there was blood, and Tabitha was nearly certain that they were deceased.

**AN: So, what do you think? I fell in love with the book last year, and then I saw the movie. One word- amazing. And Kili- hot damn, that's a dwarf? So, did I write the death scene well? How do you like Tabitha? Is she sue-ish? Who are the figures? And the most important question of all- are Fili and Kili really dead?**

**I would love constructive criticism, but no flames please. Remember, flames make hobbits cry.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh my…" Tabby practically fainted on the spot, but quickly snapped out of it by reminding herself that those bodies might not be bodies. They might be alive and they might murder her, or even worse, whoever murdered them and brought their bodies in to her house was about to kill her. She nearly fainted again at that, so she was forced to slap herself a bit to wake herself up. She lunged for the phone on the ground near the tv.

"No!" She cried upon finding it dead. "No, it can't be dead, no!" She was close to tears. She had no house phone, and hereby no way to call 911. And guess where the cell phone charger was?

In the parlor.

She cursed in French, a skill that she had learned from her grandmother. She now knew that the only option was to venture out in to the parlor to charge the phone and call the police. That or jump out the window, but the last time she tried that she had broken her leg. So, in to the parlor it was!

She slowly opened the door, praying that someone with an axe wasn't about to jump out at her. She reminded herself yet again that there could very well be a murderer waiting in the shadows, to grab her from behind and slay her as he had slain the two bodies. Perhaps he was awaiting behind a dark corner with an axe, perhaps he was behind the kitchen door, perhaps he was right behind her…

There was a smash from behind her and Tabby screamed in horror, sure she was about to be murdered.

"Frickin' cat…" She muttered as Lynx scurried away, having knocked some assorted junk off of Tabby's coffee table.

Tabby closed the living room door, now standing in the parlor. She shone the light on one of the bodies. It was a guy with many cuts on his face, leading Tabby to wonder whether he had jumped off a cliff or something. He had long, braided blond hair, a large nose and a… braided mustache?

"Huh. Weird beard…" Tabby muttered to herself quietly. Then she noticed the man's clothing. There was what looked like armor, lots of leather, some fur…

"Oh. Well, that explains just about everything then. There is a dead pimp in my parlor. Well then!" Tabby squeaked in a weak attempt at sarcasm.

She then looked at the other body. 'Another pimp.' She thought dimly, observing his clothing. Then she looked into his face.

"Whoa…" She breathed. She found the dead man incredibly handsome. He had long dark hair and dark stubble across his face, but it worked for him in a way that Tabby had never seen before.

Then she saw the arrows sticking out of his chest and realized that she was ogling a dead man, and was immediately appropriately horrified. Had she been thinking clearly at the time, she would have realized that arrows were not the most common murder weapon, but she was unfortunately not thinking clearly.

She then remembered why she was there- the phone. She had to step over Weird Beard to get to the charger, and accidentally kicked Hottie in the process. Finally, she crossed the Bridge of Two Pimps and reached the charger, when she promptly had a panic attack.

Hottie was moving. He was facing her, and Tabby could clearly see that his eyes were slightly open and that he was looking around.

He was alive.

His eyes landed on her and she bolted, abandoning the cell phone and tripping over Weird Beard in a panicked race to get to a door, any door, before Hottie went completely Texas Chainsaw Massacre on her.

She tripped over the cat, making it yowl loudly and dart out into the parlor as Tabby opened the door to the guest room, scrambled inside and slammed the door. Looking around for a split second, she dove under the bed with a terrified yelp.

XXX

Kili woke up slowly. He felt an overwhelming sense of tiredness, and only wanted to go back to sleep. But upon remembering the events of the battle and Fili's… death, love conquered sleep and he opened his eyes.

Everything was dark, and he felt cold all over. He wasn't sure where he was or what was happening. He looked around, not able to see much. Then he noticed a woman dressed in strange attire, looking like nothing he had ever seen before.

She had messy red curls, and was a bit fat- not anything like Bombur, more like Bilbo, hobbit-like. She was wearing purple eyeglasses, a type that he had never seen before. The woman looked at him and he saw sheer terror in her bright green eyes as she ran away. His mind registered the sound of her falling over something, and then a door slamming.

He tried to move, to get up, to look for Fili and Thorin, but he couldn't move at all. His entire body felt weighed down. He was exhausted, though he had no idea why. He soon began to regain feeling in his fingers, and found that he could move them a bit if he tried. His fingers soon turned in to a hand, which he flexed as best as he could. But he felt himself sliding down, back in to the darkness of sleep. And for the first time since his brother had fallen, he felt real fear of death; fear that if he went to sleep he would never awake again.

That was when he saw it. It was a fat thing, furry and absolutely monstrous if you looked at it from the wrong angle, and Kili definitely happened to be viewing it from the wrong angle. But it was a cat, with a little pink bejeweled collar, which his dwarven eyes easily identified as fake diamonds. And it was pawing at his face.

This was actually a good thing. It woke Kili up, and he eventually managed to regain feeling in his entire arm. He quickly managed to move his other arm, and soon his legs began to regain feeling as well. He pulled himself to his knees shakily, still exhausted. He briefly wondered why, when he saw the arrows sticking out of his chest. There were three, one of which had barely touched him, another which had fallen out, and one that had gotten deep in to his chest. He knew it was a bad idea to pull it out, but he couldn't very well walk around with an arrow sticking out of his chest, he reasoned with himself as he pulled the arrow out. He cried out in pain, and could only hope that it hadn't hit anything important. Then he saw him.

His brother, lying on the floor, cold and pale. Dead.

He began to cry. He didn't cry as a rule, not even when he had broken a rib in weapons training when he was a dwarfling. But he sobbed now, for his brother. He collapsed by his side, hugging him and wishing beyond everything he had that his brother could be alive again.

He remembered that his brother didn't want him to come along, that he had thought it far too dangerous. He thought that Kili would be hurt.

After laying by Fili's side for a long while, he crawled unsteadily over to the nearest door. Upon opening it, he found a plain room with a large bed and dark carpeting. He heard a soft gasp from under the bed and slowly bent down. He saw two large green eyes peeping out at him from behind purple glasses.

The woman screamed at the top of her lungs and Kili scrambled backwards.

_AN: Chapter two! So Kili wakes up. But why? Why is he not dead? And poor Fili. Poor dead Fili. Dead, the poor dwarf, completely and entirely dead. Deceased. Gone. Goodnight and good luck. Yeah, I'm being really obvious here, huh?_


	3. Chapter 3

Tabby darted over to the corner of the wall as Hottie fell back. She figured that if he was going to shoot her, he'd have a harder time doing it while she was under the bed. She grasped her flashlight, turned off for obvious reasons, and held it like a weapon. Well, it was better than nothing at all.

She noticed that the arrows in his chest were gone and that he was very much alive, if not slow moving and tired. But that didn't change the fact that he was in her _house_ with a _dead body_- that is, if Weird Beard was actually dead, which Tabitha was beginning to doubt. She just hoped that this whole evening wouldn't turn into _Night of the Living Dead_. She could hear the zombies already.

"Please." The man said, and Tabby noticed that he had an accent. "I mean you no harm." His voice was slow, and slurred slightly. Tabby came to a sudden realization.

She shouldn't have said it. She _really_ shouldn't have said it, and she knew that she shouldn't have said it. However, months as a basic recluse had left her with little to no tact, and she spoke the thought as it came to her mind.

"Are you on _drugs_? Did someone drug you?"

It made sense in her mind. They were both passed out, he was looking ill and tired, he was slurring his speech, and he was a pimp. A _pimp_.

"Was it a prostitute?" She blabbered on, for Tabby is, in fact, a stress talker. "You hear horrible stories in the news. Lucky that she didn't kill you right out, like that man I read about in the paper this morning, poor guy."

At this point, the man had sat up again, and was peering under the bed. The room was nearly pitch black, so he obviously could hot see her in the dark corner, but he could hear he very well. Tabby mentally told herself to keep her mouth shut before Hottie tried to sew it shut so that no one could hear her scream, but she had to add one more thing.

"What the hell are you doing in my house?!"

XXX

Kili was confused. He felt horrible and had just nearly hit his head on the wall after the woman startled him.

"Please. I mean you no harm." He tried to reassure her. His voice came out odd, and his mouth was nearly as numb as his body had been moments before. His head was pounding and he felt like he would collapse.

She asked him about something called "drugs" and "prostitute". He hadn't the slightest idea what either of those things were. He couldn't see her at all. His eyes scanned under the bed, trying to see a bit of movement, but there was nothing.

"What the hell are you doing in my house?" The woman asked, and Kili's eyes darted to where he thought the voice came from.

"I- I... I'm not sure. This is your house?" He asked, his vision swimming.

"Well, it's not the freaking white house," The woman shot back. "Fine. If you're not gonna murder me right now, then who are you?"

"I don't wish to hurt you," He replied, feeling dizzy. "I am... I..."

"Are you okay?" The woman asked, concern evident in her voice.

"Kili... At your service." He muttered before he slipped down to the floor, half unconscious.

"Oh god!" Tabby exclaimed in shock, crawling out from under the bed.

"Please..." The man she now knew was Kili muttered. "My brother..." His eyes closed quickly.

Tabitha was terrified. The pimp was asleep again, and she concluded that he was definitelly drugged, or else something was very, very wrong. He had claimed that he wouldn't hurt her, and she couldn't in good conscience leave an innocent man collapsed on the floor like that. Even a pimp.

She quickly threw the pillows off of the bed and gently lifted Hottie-pimp Kili's head, slipping a pillow under it. She then threw a blanket over his unmoving form.

Now what was that about his brother again? His brother... She pondered for a few moments before realizing, for Tabitha is not an exceptionally clever young woman, you see. Weird Beard the pimp!

She quickly ran out in to the parlor, to find Lynx sitting on Weird Beard's body. "Get off, precious cat." She waved her away, wondering exactly how she was to get Weird Beard from the parlor in to the guest room. She tried picking him up. She picked him up by his arms, she got him halfway up before she dropped him. The heavy armor on his back pinned her foot to the ground. With lots of squealing, shouting, swearing, and the occasional whack on the man's head to try and knock him off, she eventually got free. _'Why do I have to deal with this?_' She pondered.

"Lynxie, could you do this for me? It's four in the morning, I'm tired." Tabby asked the cat wearily. Upon receiving no reply, Tabby snarled before picking up the center table off of the ground, pure fury giving her unnatural strength. She dumped the table on it's side in the living room, nearly killing the cat. "Sorry." She muttered half-heartedly, staring at her beautiful oriental rug, a present from her mother, which Weird Beard was currently bleeding out on.

Oh. Bleeding out. Well, that wasn't good. There was a big arrow sticking out of his shoulder. Tabby knew that she only had band-aids for tiny cuts. She couldn't help with this one until she could go to CVS Pharmacy in the morning. Shrugging, she cast a final glance at her beautiful rug before quickly dragging it, along with the pimp, in to the guest room.

She was quite cross at this point, about her cat, her rug, her near panic attack, and all things put together. She half-considered letting Weird Beard lie there until morning, but then scolded herself for being cruel. She knew that aside from being a pimp, this probably was a perfectly nice person before his untimely departure, and he didn't deserve to lie there like a... Well, like a dead body. So she made up a bed very much like the one of Kili, his brother-pimp, before backing slowly out of the room and closing the door firmly- and then locking it tightly, so there could be absolutely no escape, hereby no Saw re-enactments tonight.

What? I said she wasn't amazingly clever. I never said that Tabitha Creedon was a fool.

She calmly walked back in to her room, slowly shaking her head. She locked her bedroom door behind her and sat down on her bed. She looked at her three fish.

"Oh jeez." She commented. "I've had soooome night, ladies." Then she promptly passed out from shock.

**AN: Alright then. So I know, I know. But Meow, you gorgeous, amazing person, you! How could Fili and Kili have been drugged. Well, I can't tell you. But I'll hint. You've read it in this story. Note the story title?**

**Ah ha ha! So, anyway, that's it for today. I'll try to update every day, if I can. Oh, by the way, any opinions on Tabby? What do you think of her sue-wise, now that she's been hanging around for three chapters?**


	4. Chapter 4

Tabitha opened her eyes slowly. The first thing that crossed her mind was that she had forgotten to feed the fish last night. With a cry of frustration, she jumped up and grabbed the fish food. Sprinkling some in to the bowl, she hastily apologized to the fish. They had always been a bit frail, especially Jamaica, so she was always careful about their diets.

She pulled out one of her favorite dresses, a green striped one, and considered picking out a pair of shoes. She decided to forego the shoes, however, because she figured that she would just be hanging around the house today, working on her book. It's not like she would see anyone today.

Walking out of her room and in to the living room, she noticed that some magazines were knocked off of her table. With a sigh, she bent down and picked them up. "Lynx! What's your problem, girl? You don't knock over my magazines!" She looked around, briefly wondering where the little white cat had slipped off to. Continuing in to her parlor, she stopped dead.

"What the hell?" Her rug was missing. Her beautiful oriental rug that her mother had given her as a gift when she moved in to her new house was gone. "Oh, jeez! Did we get robbed?"

She noticed her cell phone on the ground by the wall. She picked it up and noticed that it was dead. With a grunt of annoyance, she plugged it in to the charger. She then checked the door to see if she had left i open last night. It was bolted shut.

She figured that she might have just been sleepwalking again. She had developed a terrible case of sleepwalking when she was sixteen. At one point she had actually woken her sister Ashley up at one in the morning and had driven them to _Dunkin Donuts._ Her sister had walked home, and the next morning Tabby had been very confused as to why she had awoken on a park bench next to five or six pigeons.

Setting about to look for the rug, she first checked in the kitchen, grabbing a banana as she entered. No rug there.

Then she decided to check in the guest room, just as she had finished the last of her breakfast. Throwing the peel away in the trash bin, she strode over to the door and opened it calmly.

She let out a terrified cry as she saw the two pimps. They hadn't moved, didn't look like they were breathing, and worse her beautiful rug had several huge bloodstains on it. And it seemed that she had repressed her memories over the night.

"Well," She muttered. "Can this day get any worse?"

It was then that she noticed the arrow sticking out of Weird Beard the blond pimp's shoulder. And the stab wound he had in his stomach. And Kili's big arrow wound that she had seen in his chest. She quickly realized that it the brother-pimps weren't dead now, the might very well be dead soon if she didn't get help.

She began pacing back and fourth manically. She quickly ruled out taking them to the hospital. Doctors would ask her questions that she din't know how to answer, and she might very well be accused of murder. Plus, her car was out of gas. So, since Tabitha was currently a rather hysterical person, and slightly selfish normally, she decided to call her older sister, Clarice, who was a med student in Pennsylvania.

She sighed, realizing that her phone wouldn't be charged enough for her to make a call. In the meantime, she decided to do the logical thing and check to see if the two dead men were truly dead.

First she checked Weird Beard. She checked his neck, and found no pulse. But, figuring that she could probably just be doing it wrong, she checked his wrist as well. Nothing. His chest was still, his skin cold and his face pale. He was dead.

Then she checked the man who had identified himself as Kili to her. The name was odd, she noted. Not entirely pimp-like, just odd. A nickname, perhaps? Yes, that must be it. "Kili" had to be a nickname.

She immediately noted that his face was normal looking, not pale like the other man's. He was clearly breathing, and he was warm when she checked his wrist. There was also a clear, strong pulse. Why, he was no more than asleep, Tabitha realized.

Surely her phone must be charged up enough to make a call by now. She ran to get it. It wasn't even ten percent charged, but it was enough to call her sister, at least. She quickly dialed. The phone rang twice before a woman's voice sounded over the line.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Clara!" Tabby greeted her sister. "It's me, Tabitha."

"Tabby? _Really_, now! Well, hello darling sister. How's life?" Clarice (Clara being Tabby's pet name for her) replied, sounding delighted to hear from her sister.

"Umm, it's good. Say, Clara? What do you know about stab wounds?"

_"What?"_

"Uh, well, you see..." Tabby searched desparetaley for an excuse before sighing in defeat. "Okay, so let's just say that you accidentally stab someone in the stomach with, umm, a knife, I think. And shoot them in the shoulder with an arrow. What do you do?"

"_Tabby..._"

"Clara, I _swear_, I'm serious here."

"Tabby, what did you _do_?!"

"Nothing!" Tabitha exclaimed quickly. "I- I just- Well, okay. There are two pimps in my parlor! Well, they're in the guest room now. I think one's dead."

There was a long silence before a sort of strangled sound that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a sob came from her sister.

"Clara? Clarice?"

"Tabitha Cheryl Creedon... Are you _drunk_?!" Her sister exclaimed weakly.

"What?! No, you idiot! I don't drink! And it's 10AM! Why would I be drunk?"

"Well..." Clara stuttered. "It's just that you- you're not typically this... unhinged."

"_Unhinged_?!"

"Tabby, look. This isn't funny, seriously. Look, if you need any help at all, you could always call my friend Kendra. She specializes in medicine, but she does some psychology work too. I don't have her number right now, but I can e-mail it to you later. Tabby, this isn't funny. I don't understand why you would do something like this, I mean- I mean..." She broke off.

"Clara, are you _crying_?" Tabby gasped, sitting down on the living room couch.

"I- I'm sorry Tabby, but this isn't funny at all and I'm really worried about you, okay? I'm sorry, but... I'm just really emotional right now. I'm not sure if mom told you yet but... But I'm pregnant." Clarice explained.

Tabby almost dropped the phone. _Pregnant?_

_"Pregnant?! _Clarice! Who the hell is the father?!"

"Well, Jeremy, I should hope!" Her sister snapped at her.

"Who the hell is Jeremy?!"

"My husband!"

Tabitha gasped. "You're married?!" She almost choked on her words in her shock. When did this all _happen_?

"Yes, I've been married for five months! You were to busy with your writing to come to my wedding! And now you phone me up saying this? Seriously, Tabby! I'll send you that number later, I'm just really angry right now!" Tabby heard a click over the phone.

"Wait, Clarice! Clarice?" Her sister had hung up.

Well, that was just great. That was wonderful. Her sister was pregnant, she was _married, _there was still one dead pimp in her guest room, one pimp was unconcious, both were possibly murderers, her oriental rug was stained with blood, she had a terrible headache, and the cat was missing. Could this day get _any _worse?

_'Yes, it could,' Tabitha realized as she walked back in to the guest room to find Kili awake and staring at her._

_"Oh," she muttered. "This day just got a whole lot worse."_


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Okay, so now it gets medical. I am NOT a doctor. I'm researching arrow wounds, stabbing wounds and infections, so anything medical in here didn't come from me. I'm not to be held responsible in any lawsuits. :) Also the Yahoo! Answers responses are real. Those are real questionss that I asked on there for research help and those are real answers. Best research ever.**

"Umm... Hi." Tabby smiled awkwardly, slowly inching her way over to the desk by the door. " Do you know where you are?"

The man had a glazed look in his eyes and seemed very disoriented. He kept his eyes on her, staring intently.

"Who are you? Where is my uncle? Is he alright? Did we lose the battle?" He asked, and Tabby noticed that his face was flushed and he was sweating.

"Battle?" Tabby questioned doubtfully. "Like gun battle? Or," She coughed. "_Arrow_ battle?"

"Battle, the wargs." Kili clarified slowly. "And the... The goblins."

Tabitha frowned. She figured that the only explanation for this was that the man was crazy. Well, if he's talking about goblins, then obviously. "Uhh, look, I'm Tabitha. Do you know where you are?"

He frowned, and looked at Tabby with a feverish glint in his eye. "Erebor." He replied certainly, before looking around, puzzled. "This is not Erebor."

"Yeah?" Tabby said sarcastically. "Go figure." She nodded to the bed above him. "Look, maybe you want to lie down? On the bed? You don't look very well."

He nodded, with a confused expression on his face. He tried to get up, but was very weak and could barely stand. Tabby quickly rushed over to him before he fell over. She noticed with a little flash of glee that he was even shorter than Tabby, who was about five feet tall. Kili had to be around four-nine.

As soon as she managed to get him standing properly, she noticed that he was really warm. "Oh," She exclaimed in surprise. "You're burning up!"

He looked at her oddly, his eyes strangely bright. "What are you-" He looked down at his brother. His eyes widened in alarm but he didn't seem able to do much else. "Fili?" Kili asked softly.

"He's asleep!" Tabby cried quickly. "He was exhausted after the, umm, battle, with the... The Goblins!" She nearly pushed him on to the bed. "Now, umm, lay down. I have a thermometer around here somewhere, you have a fever." She started to exit the room, but turned abruptly, spinning to look at him. "Are you wounded anywhere?"

Kili looked down at himself slowly. He touched his chest where the arrows had pierced him and winced. "There." He said, pointing to his chest and the cuts as Tabby returned with a thermometer.

Tabby had noticed last night that he looked very young, and even more so now with a fever. "How old are you?" She asked quietly as she puzzled over the thermometer, trying to turn it on.

"Seventy seven." Kili replied.

"_Yeow_!" Tabby cried in shock, nearly dropping the little device. "And I thought my _mother_ was old! So, did you just have a lot of botox or something?" She was trying to humor him, of course. He was obviously not _that_ old.

"I was barely old enough to accompany my uncle on his quest to reclaim Erebor." He replied, staring up at the ceiling blankly.

"So you're a minor?"

He was unable to answer that question, for at that moment she handed him the thermometer. He stared at it in alarm. "What is this?"

"Put it under your tongue." Tabby replied blandly.

Kili shrunk away from the thing. "Why? I do not understand-"

"Do it!" Tabby cried, in no mood to argue with the strange pimp who had broke in to his house with his dead brother and a fever. "Do it or else your brain could melt from the heat!" Intimidation _is_ the best policy...

Kili started at that, and Tabby grabbed back the thermometer, forcing it in to his mouth before he could say a word. "Be quiet and keep it there until it beeps!" She hissed before rubbing her forehead in frustration. "I'll go get an icepack."

She returned quickly with the pack. "You know what probably happened? Your arrow wound probably got infected. And the drugs couldn't have helped either. You pimps really should take care of yourselves better!"

She put the icepack on his forehead right after the thermometer beeped. He jumped in surprise at the beep, and yelped at the icepack. "It's cold." He gasped.

"Yes, and the sky's blue," Replied Tabitha impatiently. "Now, let's see here, you have a temp of... Oh man. You have a temp of 104." She sighed, shaking her head at Kili. "Okay, look, I can keep you in my guest room here until your brother wakes up and your temperature goes down. Then, I'll have to send you off. I'll call a cab, give you some food, some cash, but you'll have to go. I hope to have you gone by tonight, okay?"

He didn't reply, except for a short "I'm cold." Tabby sighed.

"Just go to sleep. It'll help, really." She replied softly, marveling at her luck. She now has to nurse a... Well, she shouldn't say pimp anymore, she had to figure that he was really about seventeen or eighteen. Okay, she had to nurse a man back to health and figure out what to do with the dead body. She quickly turned to leave the room.

"Lady Tabitha?" He asked quietly. She stopped, slowly turning to look at him, not bothering to mull over the odd title.

"Yes?"

"Will my brother be alright?" He asked softly, and he looked so small in the heavy armor that Tabitha felt pity for the boy. Even in his feverish state, his biggest concern was his brother.

"Yes. Of course he will." Tabitha replied quietly before walking out of the room.

She moped about for a few minutes. It was sad, listening to Kili shout madly about eagles in the next room, so eventually, at a loss for things to do, she decided to see if Clarice had emailed her yet.

Evidently, her stupidly hormonal sister had emailed her. Tabby quickly dialed the number. She knew Kendra. She had been Clara's friend from high school.

"Hello? Tabitha?" The voice on the other line greeted cheerfully.

"Hi, Kendra. Yes, it's me, Tabby. Uhh, I have some questions and my sister directed me to call you."

"Oh yeah," Kendra chirped over the line. "Clarice told me that you would be calling. So, Tabby, tell me what has been troubling you today."

"Uhh, okay. So I have... This cut. This huge cut in my chest. And I have a fever, 104. My cut is infected. What do I do?"

"Umm, well... I thought that we were supposed to be talking about your current mental-"

"I was also stabbed," Tabitha continued hurriedly. "I'm the stomach. And shot with an arrow in the shoulder. The arrow is still there. What do I do?"

"So... you were stabbed, shot with an arrow, have a dangerously high fever, an infected cut... And you're seeing dead bodies in your house?" Kendra clarified slowly.

"Well, they aren't dead anymore. But there are the eagles apparently flying around in the guest room... Yes. I'm a mess. Total wreck. So, tell me Kendra, what should I do?" Tabby was honestly just having fun with this now. This would show her stupid sister what crazy _really_ was.

"Umm, a fever that high could cause brain damage. And the stabbing thing... Try going to the hospital. " Kendra replied.

"No." Tabby replied, making her voice sound like a stubborn child's.

"Yes! You honestly need professional help anyway. Go. To. The. ER."

"Ooh, I loved that show!"

"Aughh!" Kendra cried and Tabby heard the phone click. With a self satisfied grin, she grabbed her laptop and began to type rapidly.

"What the hell is _Yahoo! Answers_ there for if you don't use it?"

XXXXX

Tabby decided to start with the most injured, who she gathered was named Fili. Man, if those were their real names, their parents must have some cracky sense of humor. She typed quickly.

"**Stabbed in stomach, seriously, help anyone?**

_Okay, if a guy is stabbed in the stomach and shot in the shoulder with an arrow, what should someone do? The person's been lying there all night. Would he be dead, or... He looks dead. What should I do?_"

Tabby felt very pleased with herself over this, until she saw the answers. One person reccomended she call the hospital, but said he probably wasn't dead. One person told her to call the cops, seriously. One guy just swore at her and told her to get a heart. Tabby began to grow incredibly frustrated. She typed in some additional details.

_"Are you all crazy? I can't go to the hospital, the police might think that __**I**__ did it! It wasn't __**my**__ fault, I just found them lying in my parlor! I have my whole life ahead of me!"_

The next reply wasn't terribly helpful either.

_"GOOD SAMARITAN LAW! HOSPITAL! GO! NOW!"_

Tabby sighed. This was turning out to be a big bust. The next reply made her day.

_"Burn the body in acid Breaking Bad style. He's dead. We know you did it."_

"Not helpful," Tabitha commented, "But fully hilarious."

One person accused her of being a troll. Nope, next answer, please.

The next guy was acctually polite and helpful. He told Tabby to call the police. If Fili died because you didn't get him medical help fast enough, it would be even worse. They could find out who really did it to them. this gave Tabby an idea.

"Hey, Kili?" She called as she walked over to the guest room door, where she could hear Kili muttering. "Who did this to you?"

"The dragon!" He cried.

"Alright then." Tabby affirmed with a sharp nod. That was _helpful. _Returning to her computer, she looked for new answers.

**AN: So, should Tabby call the police? What would YOU do? I'm at a loss, because if she does then they might not get Fili back. Ah, Kili would find a way. What do you think?**


	6. Chapter 6

"What to do now…" Tabitha mused quietly, sitting down on her bed. She realized that she still had no idea where the cat was. The poor fluffy baby was probably so confused, what with the brothers in the house. Dwarves, Tbby reminded herself, recalling Kili's words from earlier.

She had forced Kili to drink some Tylenol, and his temperature went down to about 100 by that time. He wasn't as warm last Tabby had checked, so that was good. She still wasn't sure what do do about Fili, though. She tried pouring water on his face but it didn't help wake him at all.

Sighing, Tabby walked in to the living room, turned on her iPod player and made for the guest room to check on her unexpected patients. From the parlor, Tabby could hear one of her favorite songs start to play. It was a number from what Tabitha personally considered to be the best movie ever, _Casablanca_. The song _As Time Goes By _was wonderful, and Tabitha delighted in hearing it. She also loved Ingrid Bergman. She recalled that as a little girl she would fantasize of one day posing for the cameras on the red carpet, starring in only the best movies and being counted among the greatest actresses of all time, like Bette Davis and Katherine Hepburn. She knew now that it was a silly dream. Real life was nothing like the movies. But as a child…

She shook herself out of her silly little reverie, realizing that she had stopped in the middle of the parlor. With a small, bitter laugh, Tabby strode in to the guest room, to find Kili finally relieved of his delirium and sleeping peacefully.

Tabitha quickly decided that the heavy armor could certainly be doing neither of the boys and good whatsoever. She decided that in order to really asses their wounds, not that she could really do anything, then she would have to see what was under their armor.

"It's obviously not very effective," She grunted as she tried desperately to pull Fili's shoulder armor off. "If he has a huge-ugh! A huge gaping cut in his abdomen. God, this is _heavy_!" Tabby managed to pull it off, but just barely. With a good look at the wound, she realized that it was still bleeding slightly. It was a small wound, but a brutal one. She realized that, while he hadn't lost a lot of blood so far based on her _beautiful _oriental rug which she was still mourning over, if it didn't stop bleeding soon he could very well bleed out. What? She _did _like medical shows, she didn't know _absolutely_ nothing.

"Umm… How to do that. Apply pressure?" She guessed weakly. With a quick shake of her head, she moved on to Kili.

She began tugging at his armor. It still wasn't easy to pull off but it was much lighter than his brothers. '_Perhaps,_' Tabby mused as she tugged at the chest plate '_It_ _is light because he is young_.'

She noticed that the same song was still playing and realized that she must have left the iPod on loop. She grunted again as she tried to lift the man's armor. "How does this thing not suffocate him?! It's so heavy!" She cried. At that moment Kili's eyes flew open and he stared at her in shock. Tabby felt a pang of guilt for awakening him before she realized exactly how much of a compromising position this must be.

She was leaning over him, her face close to his, tugging at his armor, aka one of the things he was wearing.

"Oh, god…" She muttered, jumping off of him. "Uhh, it isn't what it looks like, I _swear_."

She smiled nervously and continued to chatter as he sat up, obviously feeling better. "I mean, I wasn't like, trying to take advantage of you while you were incapacitated or anything like that, uh, I was just worried because you're hurt, and besides, it's not like that's the only thing that you're wearing, _obviously_, so how could I be trying to- Uhh… Are you feeling any better?" She trailed off, deciding at once that it would be best to just shut up at this point.

He nodded slowly, staring at her. "Yes, yes I am. Lady Tabitha, correct?" He pulled off the heavy metal armor easily, and Tabby's eyes bugged out. She chose not to say anything about it, however, as she felt she was already looking like an enormous dolt and didn't want to screw up even more.

"Uhh, yeah, just Tabitha's fine. Or Tabby, I guess, because that's what most people call me. Whatever you want, I suppose." She smiled awkwardly, for you see, Tabitha is painfully awkward around strangers when she isn't extremely annoyed, for example, about the loss of something important to her- like a certain oriental rug.

"Lady Tabby?" Kili questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Uhh, that works." Tabby said, blushing. Where did this guy _come from_?

"So, I uhh, hate to break it to you, but you have a bad cut. I don't know if you remember this well, but you were stabbed by an arrow. I think that it's gotten infected. I gave you some Tylenol for the fever, so you might need to take some more of that soon. Your brother, however," Tabitha walked over to where Fili was lying, out cold. "Your brother is a different story."

Kili was up on his feet in an instant, not showing any sign of weakness as he had in the morning. "Fili?" He asked in surprise, bending down to try and help him. The moment he touched his brother's skin, he drew back. "He's so cold…"

"I think he was stabbed or something," Tabby continued, bending down as well to examine the blond man. "I'm not sure what to do."

"Not sure what to do?!" Kili exclaimed in an angry voice that made Tabby shrink away in shame. "What type of a healer are you? Save him before he dies!"

"Healer!" Tabby shot back, not appreciating the fact that she was being yelled at by a man who had broken in to her house, and whom she had graciously allowed to stay in her guest room as he screamed bloody murder about goblins and eagles. "I'm no healer! You should have taken him to a hospital then, not sought refuge in my house! I can't help you! I'm not a doctor, or a healer, or whatever!"

He stared up at her intensely and Tabby realized that he was not yelling out of anger but out of fear. "Then find one. I have to stay with my brother." He picked up his brother's head, cradling it in his arms and whispering to him softly. Tabby ran off, unsure of what to do. She tore through the house, searching for her cell phone. She found it by the iPod player, which she shut off. Now who to call… She still was hesitant to go to the hospital, for she knew that she should have gone last night. What could she do?

By a stroke of luck, she remembered the most recent conversation she had had with her mother, the night before last. She had mentioned briefly that her cousin Cecile was visiting town, and that she would be staying for several days. Tabby hadn't given it much thought at the time. She had never thought highly of Cecile, who was a year older than her and training to be a nurse at a New York university. Her cousin was an airhead, and was always worried about the latest bands and styles. While close in age to each other, Cecile was closer to Ashley, for the cousins shared many of the same interests. The main difference was that Cecile was smart enough to keep off the streets. Cecile was just so _cheerful _and _helpful_ all the time, it made Tabby want to gag.

Tabby hated resorting to her cousin for help, but she felt out of options. She located Cecile's phone number from her contacts and dialed desperately.

One ring…

Pick up.

Two rings.

_Pick up._

Three rings.

"Hello?" A soft, cherry voice answered over the line.

"Hi, Cecile. It's me, Tabitha, your cousin."

"Oh!" Her cousin exclaimed gleefully. "Hi Tabby! How are you? I just got back from lunch with your mom, I'm visiting town for a few days! Guess what? I'm sleeping in your old room! Isn't that funny?" Her cousin chattered on, but Tabby could only hear a cry of sorrow from Kili in the other room.

"Uh, Cecile?" Tabby cut in as Cecile blabbered endlessly. "I need your help. You're a nurse, right?"

"Well, almost," Cecile replied. "How come?"

"Well, you see… Last night, I found two guys in my living room. They're hurt and I'm scared. One guy had a bad infection, I think, and I don't know if the other one is…"

"Oh, Tabby! Really? Well, I can try to help. I don't know how much I can do. I could try to do stitches. I'm not sure if I'm allowed, but if it's really serious, well, then no one has to know, right? And I'm good at cleaning cuts, don't worry. Do you want me to come over now?"

"Uhh, yeah, if you could." Tabby replied.

"I'm in the car right now, cuz. Your mom gave me your address yesterday. I'll be right there."

"Okay, thanks Cecile. Bye." Tabby hung up. She was pleased, as this was the first call she had made today that did not result in someone hanging up on her. Then, she sat in wonder for a moment that her cousin was really so dull as to not even question her story. Wow.

In moments Cecile was here, with a nurse's bag like ones you would find at a toy store. She greeted tabby with a flurry of hugs, excited jumping and bouncing brown curls. Tabby quickly showed her in to the guest room, quickly explaining her problem in more detail. Kili had not moved from his spot on the ground, and still cradled his brother in his arms.

"Kili," Tabby announced grandly as her cousin swept in to the room. "This is Cecile. A healer. She'll help your brother. Cecile, this is Kili. He has an infection. Fili has some more apparent issues, he was stabbed and shot with an arrow. Can you do anything?"

Cecile bent down with a puzzled look on her face. "An arrow, huh? Well, I've never seen anything like that before." Cecile touched her patient gingerly, as if afraid she might break him. She looked at Kili, who still held his brother in his arms. "Do you want to stay?" She asked gently. "I'll have to sew him up a bit." She took out her stitching kit.

"I think you'd better go." Tabby suggested to Kili. "This might get graphic."

"No," He replied stubbornly. "I'm staying with my brother. He was always there for me, I'll be there for him now."

"Its fine, Tabby." Cecile put in. "It isn't that bad, the stab." She was examining the wound closely. "I'm surprised that he hasn't lost more blood, I don't think he'll need a transfusion, which is good because I couldn't give him one. I think I can just stitch it up, there should be a scar but he'll be fine, mostly."

"Alright…" Tabitha replied, and stayed as well. She couldn't help but worry about Fili, especially since he seemed to have just fallen in to her lap. She would feel slightly responsible if he…

Cecile worked quickly, and the bleeding was quickly stopped and the wound closed. "He's still alive, obviously. He's bleeding." Cecile pointed out.

She then moved on to the arrow. "Ooh… Lucky it didn't go very far… You could probably just pluck this out with no problem." She began to slowly ease it out. "Hmm, not too much blood. That's great."

"You women have an awfully strange way of speaking…" Kili commented, seemingly trying to distract himself from his brother's injuries.

"Yeah?" Tabby asked nervously. She had never liked blood and was beginning to regret staying for this. "So do you, dwarf-boy."

"That's weird…" Cecile said suddenly.

"What is it?" Kili asked, concern etched across his features.

"This blood smells strange." She ignored the weird look her cousin sent her. "Like, not natural. As if… As if there was something in the bloodstream…" She stopped suddenly, nearly dropping the arrow that she had eased out of Fili's shoulder.

"Tabby," She began, looking pained. "I think this arrow is poisoned! A really strong poison!"

**AN: Aaaand, the big reveal! Remember that goblin archer? He shot Fili, and then tried to shoot Kili? The arrow only grazed Kili and he got it out quickly. This is what's going on! But what could the goblin's motives be in all of this?**

**So, how do you like my new character, Cecile? I'm not sure whether I should introduce her as a love interest for Fili or not? She was kind of a dues ex machine in here, so I want your opinions. Do you think she's too sue-ish?**


	7. Chapter 7

"Poison."

Tabitha's blood ran cold as the word left her lips. Poison, like the old story that she had read of the woman who fed her husbands rat arsenic in the 1900s in order to make money off of their deaths. That type of poison?

What were these guys in to? Was this gang related? Tabby had a reputation to uphold in her community. She could not be involved with gangs.

"No," She spoke up softly, shaking her head and walking over to the three people on the floor. She looked at Kili, who was staring at Cecile in disbelief. "No," She said, louder this time. "I'm sorry but you have to leave. I can't get mixed up in this type of thing. I'm sorry." She ran out of the room and raced through the door across from the guest room, leading to the kitchen, Pulling out a large zip lock bag, she threw in a bag of potato chips, an apple, a water bottle and a few spare coins that she found in her drawer. Then she ran in to the living room, digging through a drawer in the old desk until she found some emergency cash. Tossing a hundred dollar bill in to the bag, she returned to find Kili and Cecile now standing, talking in low voices.

"I don't understand," Kili was whispering to her. "What type of poison could this be?"

"I don't know," Cecile replied. "Maybe someone at the local hospital might know. It could be a barbiturate of some sort, if he's asleep." Her lips were pressed tightly together in worry.

"What's that?" Kili asked, looking at her in worry. Tabby realized that he must think it was something absolutely awful.

"Uhh, it makes you sleep." Cecile replied. Ahh, her cousin, ever the genius. "It could also be something that paralyses the muscles. I'm not sure. But it must be very strong to make someone appear to be entirely dead. I've never heard of anything like it before." She then noticed Tabby. "Oh, hi Tabby. Where'd you go?"

Tabby sighed, shaking her head slowly. "I'm sorry, but you have to leave. Now. I can't get involved in gangs and stuff." She handed the young man the bag. "Here's some food, some money, but please, you need to leave."

"Tabby!" Cried Cecile in shock. "Tabby, please be reasonable!"

"No, Cecile!" Tabby growled. "You be reasonable. I wake up in the middle of the night to find two guys bleeding out in my parlor. What do you want me to do?"

"Does he even have anywhere to go?" Cecile asked, before turning to Kili. "Well? Do you?"

"Yes, of course we do. If my brother were well enough to travel, we would already be gone, I assure you. We do not wish to burden you any longer then necessary." Kili replied, and Tabby once again wondered where the heck he came from.

"Uhh, and so your house is... Where? I could call a taxi for you." Tabby offered.

"What is a taxi?"

"Oh my god." Tabby moaned, dropping the bag and collapsing in to the chair of the simple desk that stood against the wall. "You really aren't from around here, huh?"

Kili looked puzzled, and made to walk out of the room. "This is Lake-town, yes? I had been wondering why my uncle chose you to heal us after the battle. We dwarves certainly know a good share about medicine. I'm certain that if my brother and I were to return to the Lonely Mountain, Uncle would have this all sorted out. I don't suppose you know if he is alright, by chance? Has he been treated by someone else, up on the mountain?"

"You aren't making any sense," Tabitha cried desperately, stepping in front of him before he could go out the front door.

"Is his fever back?" Cecile asked in concern. "I really ought to take a look at your cut too."

"No," Kili insisted, forgetting his manners for a moment. "I'm sure that-"

He managed to pry the door open and was visibly stunned by what he saw. There was a short flight of steps leading from the door down to a side walk. A car drove down the street, radio blasting. It startled Kili so that he instinctively reached for his bow, only to find that it was gone.

Tabby and Cecile pulled him back into the house before he could go any farther. He stood in front of the door as it slammed shut, and slowly turned to look at the cousins.

"Durin's Beard!" He breathed softly. Then he began to freak out. "What was that?!" Kili cried, gesturing to the door. "It was huge, bigger than a warg! And it had a man _inside _of it! I could see him! And the beast was screaming! What was it?"

"It was a jerk inside of a car, blasting his dumb radio crap too loud for a suburban street," Tabby explained impatiently, worried that he would work himself up in to another fever. "Now, let's have Cecile, the _healer_, clean that wound." She hustled him back in to the guest room, where his brother lay still.

"This isn't Lake-town, is it?" Kili asked, only now fully realizing that he had no idea where he really was or even if his uncle was alright.

"No, I wouldn't say it is." Tabby replied as he sat on the bed.

"That thing... A car, you said? Lady Tabitha, what is it? Was that man alright?" Kili asked, not even trying to lie down.

"Yes, the guy was just fine. Now relax, before you bleed out or something." Tabby said in frustration. Apparently now she was stuck with a delusional pimp-boy who thinks that he is a dwarf, might have killed her cat and thinks that there are real dragons, and who has apparently been living under a rock the past sixty years. Joy.

"Okay, okay. Calm down, Kili." Cecile spoke gently, pushing his shoulders back on to the bed. "I have to clean your cut, and then you can take some medicine so that your fever doesn't come back, and then we can figure out how to wake your brother up so you two can look at cars together." Kili accepted this easily. Tabby frowned. He was acting like a big kid. Had he seriously never seen a car before in his life?

Cecile exposed the cut in it's entirety. It was a sickly thing, foul smelling and oozing yellow pus. Tabby had to leave the room for a moment. Cecile looked hesitant to touch it and even Kili looked disgusted. "That isn't poisoned." Cecile commented. "That's just gross."

She cleaned the wound quickly, using a bottle of anti-septic she had in her bag. Tabby laughed at the sound of her cousin muttering under her breath about how she wasn't even getting paid for this. Then Tabby noticed that, besides the pussing, infected cut, Kili had a _really_ fit body. What, was he like a warrior in his fairy tale land that he supposedly came from?

After that, Cecile made him swallow some Motrin with a bit of water. He started gagging at the taste. Tabby felt bad for him, but it quickly faded when she realized that he could be the reason that a bunch of poisonous pimps could come traipsing through her house to murder her tonight.

Cecile bandaged the cut and then handed him a glass of water. "Drink. Liquids are good for you."

He drank it quickly and Tabby smiled calmly, happy to get a moment's peace. She was pretty much ready to go in to her room, hide under the bed covers and not come out for a very long time when Cecile called her in the room. "Tabby!" She cried with joy. "Tabby, I don't believe it!" She was crouched down near Fili, holding his wrist gently.

"Tabby, there's a pulse! The poison is wearing off. I think that he might be okay!"

**AN: For anyone concerned about the cat, she's hiding in Tabby's laundry room to keep away from Fili and Kili. They scare her a bit. And so yes, Fili is gonna be fine. I'm not sure how long it takes for dwarves to bury their dead, so I'm going to guess that they're snappy with it and bury them within a short period of time. So, since I'm going to say- in this story at least- the brother's "died" at about sunset, exactly the time it is outside in earth in my story. So Fili's been out for 24 hours, and the poison's wearing off finally. Also, thank you or all of your kind reviews, you wonderful, spectacular people. I can't tell you how much it means to me.**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I. Am. Sooooooooo sorry! God, it's been what, two or three days now. Anyway, here's the next chapter. This one will be told mainly from 3****rd**** person K****ili****'s point of view. And yes, I am aware that the proper spelling is ****Fíli and Kíli. But I do not have the ****í key necessary in order to type it out. Sorry, precious readers! But I am making an effort in this chapter, at least for Fíli, so bear with me! I love all of you guys, and keep up the magnificent reviews!**

**So I've decided on what to do with Cecile. While the main thing will be the Kili/Tabby arc, Cecile will have an important place in the story too. I don't think she'll get her own romance though. Then again, I'm just making this up as I go along, so we'll see.**

Kili jumped to his feet, staring at the two women in shock.

"My brother? He's coming back?" He gasped, at his side in an instant. He had been terrified at the prospect of his brother being poisoned, his life possibly in danger. He stared at his brother's face. Fíli was deathly pale, and cold to the touch. But Kili could see a steady rise and fall of his chest, and breathed a sigh of relief. His brother was fine, he would be alright. Soon, he would wake up and they would go back to the Lonely Mountain, and this nightmare of blood and death and confusion would be over.

"Oh, thank god!" Lady Tabitha breathed. "I- I thought that I was going to have a real problem on my hands."

"Tabby!" Exclaimed Lady Cecile, who Kili quite liked. She was cheerful and helpful, even though she did seem to be intimidated by her cousin quite easily. While a rather passive figure, she was a gentle healer, and Kili's wound felt much better now.

"Do you have anywhere to go?" She asked, turning to Kili with a worried expression.

"Of course we do." Kili replied, standing up. "Erebor, our home."

"Uhh… About that." Lady Tabitha cut in. "Are you sure that it really exists? I mean, I only ask because I've lived in the area all my life, and I've never heard of it before."

Kili frowned. Was she daft? He figured that even if this was not Esgaroth, she would certainly know of the Lonely Mountain. It was where the battle took place! How could she not?

"Perhaps you know of it as the Lonely Mountain?" Kili tried, quickly discouraged by the blank look on her round face.

"Where is it?" Lady Cecile asked softly, taking a seat on the wooden desk chair. "Maybe we'll know of it if you tell us about it."

Kili sat on the bed once again, glancing around the bare room. "It was once a great dwarven kingdom, before it was taken over by the dragon Smaug."

"Smaug?" Lady Cecile asked, with a confused frown.

"Dragon?" Lady Tabitha asked with a heavy edge of doubt in her voice.

"Otherwise known as Smaug the Impenetrable." Kili snorted.

"And you killed this dragon, did you?" Tabitha asked slowly.

"I certainly did not, though I suppose I could have." He raised his head proudly, causing the Lady Tabitha to produce a very un-ladylike snort. "It was Bard the Bowman, descended of Lord Girion of Dale, who slain the beast."

"Ahh…" Lady Tabitha nodded. "And tell me, were there any fairies there? Mermaids perhaps? The odd elf?" Lady Cecile cast her a shocked glance.

"Actually," Kili replied, matching her gaze evenly. "There were _elves_ in abundance. A great too many if you ask me. But otherwise, I am afraid that the creatures of which you speak were strangely absent, I would assume due to the fact that they _don't exist_." He was growing angry now. Who was this woman to insult him this way, to mock their most noble quest, and to treat him as if he were mad?

"Oh, I see. They don't exist? And dragons do, then? What are you, a dwarf? Do they exist as well?" She countered loudly, seeming to grow more manic with each word. "How about unicorns? Are _they_ real? I feel that I should inform you that I will not be allowing a crazy person to stay in my house!"

"Tabby." Cecile cut in timidly. She was ignored.

"My brother and I don't need to stay in your house at all, and as soon as he is well enough to travel, we _will_ be going, I assure you." Kili shot back, standing up to his full height. It was useless, as Tabitha was still taller than him, but still, it was the effort that counted.

" Tabby!" Cecile spoke up, louder this time, trying to prevent her cousin from speaking.

"Well, you had better! And I sincerely hope that it will be tonight, because I will not wake up tomorrow morning to find a bullet in my heart thanks to a madman who thinks he's some sort of fairytale knight!"

"_Tabby!_" Cecile cried in fury. She hardly ever got mad, and she never yelled, but this was going too far. "You're upsetting my patient." She continued in an even tone. "Please, take a moment to calm down before this turns in to a fight of some sort." She led her cousin out in to the hallway and shut the door in her face, quickly using the chair to bar the door. She turned to Kili, who was still standing in the exact same position.

"Well," She said simply, raising an eyebrow.

"Well," Kili echoed, a bit sheepishly. He knew that he shouldn't have gotten enraged, especially with the woman who was sheltering them and allowing them to recuperate. But he had gotten so angry with the way that she had looked at him, as if he were a fool. Uncle Thorin had always said that he needed to keep his temper in check.

"You'll have to excuse her," Lady Cecile offered weakly. "She's just really confused, and I think a little traumatized about this whole thing. Not that I'm making excuses or anything." She added hastily. "What she said was really rude. I'm sorry."

"She didn't believe me." Kili replied childishly, not ready to admit that he was wrong as well, at least not yet.

"Well, Tabby's pretty hard headed. Lovely person, really, but so stubborn! Especially when she's tried, hungry and angry, like she is now. For example," Cecile chattered on, trying to fill the awkward silence in the room. "When we were little, I was a girl scout. We were playing out in the woods- me, Tabby, and Tabby's older sister, Clarice. Well, we were picking these little berries, and I saw these plants. I said they were poison ivy, so Clara and I ran away. But Tabby didn't believe me, so she ran right through the plants to get to the berries on the other side. Then she tripped, and got a landed a nice faceplant in the poison ivy. Ooh, she was furious the next day! But I didn't say I told you so, and she realized it was her fault eventually." Cecile laughed lightly, and Kili found himself grinning in spite of himself.

"That's another thing about Tabitha. She always admits her mistakes, has a horrible guilty conscience. Expect an apology pretty soon." Cecile sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Anyway, I don't think that you're lying."

Kili's face lit up hopefully. "You don't?"

"No," Cecile replied smoothly. "I think you're being honest. Either that or you're a remarkably good liar. Tabby thinks I'm not smart, and I'm not, I suppose, not really. But I do know about things, and I know about _people_. You seem really convinced by what you're saying. I mean, I know that it's a bit… Out there, but a lot of stuff is. Like, umm… Well, I can't really think of much now, but still. Anyway, I find it fascinating." Cecile grinned. "Why don't you tell me more?"

For the next half hour, Kili regaled her with his stories- Of tales of his childhood, adventures with his brother, stories about their quest, and common tales that he had grown up hearing. It felt good to finally be able to really speak to someone who wasn't an enemy, wasn't an elf, and wasn't a member of the company. It felt good to speak with someone who would _listen, _and who seemed honestly fascinated by all that he had to say.

"So, you're a prince?" Cecile gaped at him when he finally finished talking. They had been there for over an hour, with Cecile listening raptly to everything Kili had to say.

"Well, yes, I suppose." Kili replied.

"I think that your uncle should be proud of you, defending him the way you did. You were a hero!" She gasped. "I'm sure that he's fine." She added, addressing Kili's concerns about his uncle's well being. His wounds, from what Kili had seen of them, had been severe.

"You should really tell Tabby!" Cecile continued. "She loves stories, especially stories about adventures and stuff like that. And your stories about your brother- you really do care for him." She observed.

At that point, there was a moan from the floor, and the two glanced down to see Fíli awake and trying to move. The poison seemed to have paralyzed him as it had Kili, and he was only able to twist his hand slightly.

Kili was by his side in an instant, speaking to him, and shaking him, trying to prevent him from falling asleep again. "Get up, brother." He whispered softly. "You've slept for long enough. Just keep trying to move. I know it's hard, but keep trying. You can do it, you'll be fine. We're both fine."

Cecile quickly got some water from the kitchen. She noticed Tabitha asleep on the couch and rolled her eyes. Maybe when she got up she would be less grumpy.

Kili, upon receiving the water, poured it over his brother's face, half drowning him. Fíli coughed and gasped for breath, and Kili smirked slightly. His brother glared at him, now able to finally sit up properly.

"That's not funny. You could have killed me." He slurred.

"I know, I know," Cecile cut in. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. You've been out for over a day. Could you get him up on the bed?" She asked Kili, who helped his exhausted brother to his feet, leading him over to the bed and helping him to sit down.

"He'll need to sleep the rest of the poison off, I guess." Cecile whispered to Kili as Fíli lay down on the bed. "But I think he'll be fine. You ought to get to bed too." She added. "It's only nine, but it's been a rough day today."

Kili nodded. "I'll sleep here." He sat down on the floor. Cecile was aghast. "No! You can't sleep down there!"

Kili grinned. "I've slept in worse places." The return of his brother back to the land of the living had cheered him considerably.

"Well, alright." Cecile agreed. "I don't suppose dear Tabitha will mind if I steal her bed for the night."

And that was how the first night went.


	9. Chapter 9 WARNING

**AN: Just a warning, this chapter contains a backstory and… Well, it's kind of… racy. Contains vague descriptions of drug use/prostitution/ODing. No, not Tabby! God, no! Don't be silly!**

Kíli awoke the next morning to hear a loud voice singing from outside of the room. Getting up from the floor, he first checked to see if his brother was alright before walking out in to the parlor. He saw Tabitha in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and tapping her foot absentmindedly while reading a book. She wasn't singing and Kíli had no idea where the voice came from.

"Lady Tabitha?" He asked, as she didn't seem to notice that he was there.

"Tabby." She replied softly, not looking up from her book.

He frowned. "Lady _Tabby_?"

She dropped her book and looked up at last, sighing. "Just Tabby. No fancy titles, okay? I figure we can be on a first name basis, being as you're currently residing in my house."

"Alright." Kíli agreed, in an effort to maintain peace. "Where is that music coming from?"

"iPod." Tabby replied simply, picking up the red book again. "Don't touch. Very expensive."

"What is an iPod?" Kíli asked her, looking around the room to see where it could be.

Tabby sighed again, before a strange sound from the kitchen counter startled her. She jumped, pulling out a piece of toast from the toaster. Kíli didn't even notice, as he had ventured in to the living room, following the music.

"I'm serious!" Tabby called, jogging after him. "Unless you have any cash on you, hands off!"

"What is it?" He asked, fascinated by the little pink device that was producing these strange melodies. He could hear someone singing over the tunes. "It has a very nice voice."

"It's not singing. It's just playing the song. This one's from Mulan. Y'know, the Disney movie? It's called _Reflection." _Tabby smiled slightly.

"What's a movie?"

"Ugh." Tabby facepalmed. "Never mind. So… Anyway. My darling cousin locked me out of a room in my own house last night, or I would have come in to talk earlier. She also stole my bed and I found her cuddling with my cat this morning. Don't suppose you know anything about that, hmm?"

Kíli ducked his head in order to hide his smirk. "Umm, no, I'm sorry. I don't know anything about that."

"Ah," Tabby nodded. "Alright then. Anyway," She was cut off by her cat leaping into her lap and eyeing Kíli suspiciously. "Ahem, anyway… I'm sorry. About last night, I mean." She was suddenly very occupied in picking a small knot out of the cat's tail. "I was just really…" She stopped, seemingly unsure what words would be best to use. "Scared," She said finally. "I was scared. I have a long time before I'm going to be ready to kick it, and I don't want to go early just because I got myself involved in gangs and stuff. I know way too much about that kind of stuff, and I know it's all bad. I'm really sorry." She looked up, her green eyes meeting his brown.

"What do you mean when you say that you know too much about these 'gang' things?" He asked her quietly, seeing that she was uncomfortable speaking about this.

"Uhh, I don't really…" She hesitated, seeming to reconsider. "Okay. But I'm only telling you so I don't seem like such a total jerk after last night." She smiled weakly.

"My parents have three daughters. There's Clarice, the smart one. She's married, clean record, in medical school. Perfect daughter. Then there's me, Tabitha Creedon, the successful one. I'm a published children's author, and I'm pretty popular. I have a pretty good amount of cash. I'm nineteen, but I have my own little house in a nice, quiet neighborhood, and I'm living a pretty good life. Quiet, but good.

"And then there's Ashley. She's seventeen, and is… The pretty one. She's had some issues. She… She got involved in the wrong crowd at around thirteen. She and a few friends met these guys. They started using drugs and stuff. My parents found out and went nuts. So she ran away, lived with one of these guys for a while. She became a prostitute when she was around fifteen, and we had no idea where she was. She said… She said they don't ask questions. A lot of them don't even care how old you are, as long as you'll do what they want. But evidently, someone did care, and called the cops. My sister was arrested, put in rehab. She ran away, and… Then there was a drug deal. It went really bad. The cops showed up, and Ashley and the other two girls got in the car with some guys. Ashley came back a week later. Both of her friends were dead. One accidentally overdosed. The other committed suicide. They were all just fifteen. And so… Ashley got clean, but she still has nightmares. I can't imagine what she'd seen back there. So… I thought you were involved in something like that, and even worse, that you were insane or something. I freaked." She smiled weakly after this was all said.

"Some sob story, huh?" She said with a half-hearted laugh.

Kíli shrugged. "Well, it's sad. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by a lot of things, but I have some idea. I'm sorry, for you and your sister."

"Huh," Tabby muttered, looking slightly impressed. "That's new. Most guys hate feelings."

"I don't hate feelings. Who could hate feelings? Like happiness? How?" He wondered aloud, making Tabitha laugh.

"So, anyway. You know me. Now, who are you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Who are you, what's your story, and why exactly did you and your brother show up in my house with a variety of creative yet painful lacerations?"

"Well…" Kíli began, trying to think of how to put this so that Tabitha wouldn't get angry again. "My name is Kíli. My brother's name is Fíli. We're the last of the line of Durin."

"Line of who?" Tabby cut in.

Kíli proceeded to give a quick explanation of Durin's line before continuing. "Our uncle, Thorin II Oakenshield, is now King Under the Mountain, after all these years. Fíli is his heir. We're princes, as your cousin Cecile put it."

"Princes! Wow. That's interesting." Tabby nodded, looking impressed.

"You aren't angry?" Questioned Kíli.

"Don't know if I could be, after that strongly worded letter Cecile left me this morning. Geez, can that kid rant. She listed, like, fifty reasons why you were telling the truth, and it left my head spinning. So, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt."

"Ahh. Lovely woman, your cousin." Kíli nodded with a smirk.

"Annoying, more like." Tabby snorted, before sitting straight upright. "Did you hear that?"

"What?"

"Like, a voice. A man's voice."

Kíli shot up from the couch and raced into the guest room.

"Hey!" Cried Tabby in surprise. "Wait up!"

When Kíli entered the room, he found Filii fully awake, sitting on the bed and looking at him in confusion.

"Fíli!" He cried with joy, hugging him. "How do you feel? You sustained a terrible injury during the battle. But not to worry, everything is alright now. How- How are you?"

"I'm fine." Fíli nods, seeming concerned. "Where is Thorin?"

Kili's face darkened. "We don't know. Honestly brother, it seems like we're in a different part of Middle Earth- or perhaps not in Middle Earth at all, perhaps not in Arda at all."

Fíli looked at him strangely. "What do you mean?"

Kíli sighed. "I mean to say that this is a different world. It has things that I have never heard of before, such as a pink box that plays music and sings by itself. And these strange things that eat people, and the people go inside of them… I don't know how to explain them. They're called cars."

"Cars?" Fíli questioned, standing up without any assistance. "What are you on about, little brother?"

"Hello?" Tabby called softly, appearing in the doorway.

"Ah! Brother, this is Lady Tabitha Creedon, who requests to be called Tabby." Kíli introduced with a bright grin. "Lady Tabby, this is my older brother, Fíli."

"Hello." Tabby smiled awkwardly. "You're the one who bled out on my oriental rug." She gestured to the crumpled, stained rug in the corner of the room.

"Fíli, at your service." Fíli bowed. "Thank you, Lady Tabitha, for sheltering my brother and I in our time of need. I must ask you; do you know of the outcome of the great battle in which we were injured?"

"Umm…" Tabby stuttered nervously. He was somehow _worse_ than his brother, if that was possible. Maybe they really did come from Narnia after all. "No. I'm sorry. I've heard of no battles recently."

"Apparently," Kíli explained helpfully, "We simply showed up in her house a night ago."

"How could we have?" Fíli asked in confusion.

Kíli began to explain to his brother what was known about the poison. Tabby was distracted when her phone rang from the kitchen. She recognized the number as her publisher.

After a short, excited conversation, Tabby hung up to phone with a squeal of delight.

"Lady Tabby? What is it?" Kíli asked, looking concerned.

"Oh," Tabby exclaimed. "My publisher wants to have a meeting to discuss one of my other manuscripts for a new book series. He wants me to meet him in half an hour! This is…" She trailed off suddenly. "Great." She finished flatly. "Just great. What am I supposed to do with you two? I can't leave you here alone."

"Not to worry, we'll be fine! My brother does not feel well enough to travel, not until tomorrow at least, but we should be fine staying here while you leave for your meeting." Kíli laughed.

"What? No! I can't leave you here in my house!"

"Lady," Fíli cut in, approaching behind his brother. "I assure you that it will be fine. I am eighty two years old, which I am relatively sure is quite old for Man. I'm sure that I can manage to stay here for several hours without destroying your home."

"What if you're thieves?" Tabby asked pointedly.

"We're not." Kíli replied simply, shrugging his shoulders.

"Ah, yes, that's helpful." Tabby muttered.

"We are the heirs of Durin. We have no need for your money. We have enough of our own." Fíli laughed. Tabby could see that he was the more reasonable of the two.

"Fine, then. I leave the house. What then?" She asked.

"Nothing. We sit, rest, and then tomorrow we'll be on our way and not trouble you anymore." Fíli replied, shooting his little brother a warning look when he tried to respond. He didn't help matters any in situations such as these.

"Well…" Tabby checked her watch. She had fifteen minutes to get there! Motivated by her own personal reasons, she nodded, threw on her jacket and was out the door in a blink of an eye, with a call of "Don't break anything while I'm gone!" The door slammed shut behind her.

"Fíli?" Kíli asked, wandering in to the kitchen. "Do you suppose this is where food is stored? I'm starved."

**AN: Aaaaand now Tabby's gone and left them alone. Great. What do you guys think they'll do? I already have it planned out, but I want to hear your guesses. Also, any advice for writing Fíli? I want to write him really well, and it'll take me a few chapters to really get his character. Any advice?**


	10. Chapter 10

Fíli walked in to the small kitchen, standing next to his brother. It was a nice little kitchen, with green and pink floor tiling and matching countertops. There was a large square hollow cavern with a door pushed against the wall. Fíli wasn't sure what it was. If he had been a native of Earth, he would have recognized it as a stove.

"Fíli!" Kíli exclaimed, opening the door of one particularly large steel cabinet. "It's freezing in this one! What is it?" He breathed.

He began pulling frozen foods out of the refrigerator- vegetables, hamburger meat, ice cream, popsicles, ice trays, anything. The counter was strewn with frozen goods.

"We can't eat these. They're frozen." Fíli pointed out.

"I realize that." Kíli replied, shooting him an annoyed look. "We need something easier, like bread or cheese." He began rifling through a higher wooden cabinet, pulling out spices, some of which fell on the floor and broke, scattering their contents everywhere. Fíli joined him, going through another cabinet and yanking out potato chip bags, gold fish bags, pretzels and the like. A glass jar of jam fell out and shattered on the floor.

"Where is all of the good food?" Kíli exclaimed, having emptied out three cabinets already, scattering the food that occupied them around the kitchen. "Hey!" He exclaimed, ducking a bag of chips that his brother had thrown over his shoulder in distaste. Fíli snorted with laughter, opening a drawer and pulling out a very large knife. He supposed that it might make a useful weapon while they were there, so he kept it in his hand.

"I found something!" Kíli exclaimed suddenly, holding up a loaf of bread. It wasn't much, but it would keep them full until Tabby returned. The brothers devoured the bread hungrily. Once they were done, they looked around the kitchen in dismay.

Food was everywhere. Jam splattered the floor, pepper and garlic powder dusting the colorful tiles.

"I suppose we could just clean it up a bit before Lady Tabitha returns." Kíli suggested, exchanging a sheepish glance with his brother.

"Yes, good idea," Fíli nodded, hurrying away from the kitchen before he had to face any guilt over the mess. Kíli followed, and the brothers wandered into the living room.

"What does this do?" Kíli asked, picking up the television remote control and pressing several buttons. The large television in the center of the room switched on, startling both brothers. They stared at the large, colorful moving box in surprise, not by what it was doing, but by who they saw in the box.

"Thorin!" They both cried at the same time. The brothers rushed up to the television. It was their uncle all right, they would recognize him anywhere. He looked proud, healthy, majestic even.

He was staring at the brothers, talking to them. "Uncle," Cried Fíli. "Are you alright?"

Thorin looked… different. His hair was short, he had no beard… He looked more human than anything. However, the two young dwarves recognized their uncle's features, even if they did look a bit strange.

In reality, the man they were watching was Richard Armitage, on a talk show about his upcoming role in the Hobbit films. Unfortunately, the brothers just happened to catch the very end of the interview.

"Wow, that's really interesting," The blonde woman sitting next to Thorin in the box laughed. "Well, thanks Richard. That's all the time we have for now! Coming up next- Is Nixon alive and in hiding somewhere in Guam? _Topicz Newz's_ own Steeve Hatterty investigates. I'm Lorrena Simmins. Good night, Pennsylvania!"

Thorin vanished as the screen faded to black. Fíli and Kíli, who had been previously banging on the television in an effort to get Thorin to hear them, sunk back in despair.

"That might have been our last chance to see him…" Fíli muttered sadly.

In a fit of rage, Kíli grabbed Fíli's knife from the table and stabbed it in to the television screen with a loud cry. He jumped back as millions of fiery sparks exploded out of the television as the screen shattered. The sparks lit the fringe rug on the ground alight and within seconds the wooden coffee table in between the couch and the television was ablaze.

There was a slight panic as both brothers desperately tried to stomp out the flames, resulting in Kili's boot going up in flames. He threw it across the room and it broke the window facing the front yard. Fíli was smart enough to run to the kitchen, opening the cold cupboard and pulling out several clear bottles that looked like they contained liquid which were labeled _Aquafina. _He grabbed three or four large bottles and ran back in to the living room. With a lot of pouring, yelling and stamping (the latter mostly done by Fíli, with Kíli still afraid of being set alight once again) the fire eventually went out.

The brothers surveyed the damage wearily. The floor was covered in shards of glass. There was a great charred ring surrounding the table. The table itself was nothing more than a pile of rubble at this point. The two heirs of Durin exchanged guilty glances.

"Kíli," Fíli began softly, "How angry do you think Lady Tabitha will be?"

Kíli replied with one simple word, for that was all that needed to be said. "Murderous."

Kíli grabbed a red blanket off of the couch and threw it over the wreckage. He briefly entertained the hope that perhaps Tabby wouldn't notice. The brothers ran out of the room quickly, trying to avoid the guilt they felt.

"We… Can get her a new table." Fíli whispered as the brothers opened another door on the far side of the room, making a point not to look at the damage behind them.

"Still won't save us." Kíli replied.

"Who stabbed the thing?"

The brothers shut the door and surveyed the new room. It was a dining room, bare except for a large, intricately carved wooden table surrounded by four plush seated chairs. A large, magnificent golden chandelier hung above the table, adjourned with hundreds of tiny, gleaming crystals. The brothers stared up at it. It was the most beautiful thing that they had seen since they had arrived at Tabby's house.

Kíli looked over at his brother, a comment already on his lips, but he stopped short when seeing his brother's eyes. He recognized a small hint of the gleam their uncle got in his eyes when he was with his gold, how the other members of the company (save Bombur, perhaps) looked when they saw gold. It was the look of greed, of wealth and power and beauty. He and his brother had been largely immune to the gold fever that had seized the other dwarves after reclaiming Erebor. However, Kíli seemed to resist the lure of the gold better than his brother. It worried Kíli when he saw hints of the gold's spell in his brother. Kíli _liked_ gold, sure, but he wouldn't die over it. He wasn't sure whether Fíli felt the same way. He had grown up hearing stories of Thror and his obsession, and worried. He worried for his uncle and for his brother. Thror had worshiped riches over all else. He didn't want his brother to end up the same way.

Fíli stared at the chandelier with a small smile playing on his lips. "It's beautiful." He murmured, not looking at his brother.

"Fíli!" Kíli spoke up, a bit louder than necessary.

"What is it?" Fíli asked, turning to his brother with a hint of annoyance before noting the troubled look on his face.

"It's not _that _beautiful." Kíli replied, and Fíli picked up on his meaning immediately.

"No, you're right," He replied. "It's not." He offered his little brother a reassuring grin and Kíli returned it, thankful to have a brother who knew him so well.

Suddenly, Fíli frowned. "D'you hear that?"

"What?" Kíli asked in a confused tone. He looked around the room, seeing nothing.

"A sort of…" Fíli hesitated, starting toward the door. "Rumbling…" He grasped his sword tightly, and swung the door open. Kili's ears were met with the foul growling of two great metallic beasts in the next room. One hissed madly and the other sputtered and spin and churned. Kíli was seized with sudden adrenaline, glad to have something familiar, to be able to fight these beasts alongside his brother. Fíli lunged with his sword drawn at the washing machine, leaving Kíli to take on the hissing one, which the reader may recognize as a dryer. He grabbed a hammer near the door and with a warlike cry, attacked the beast.

Hacking and smashing the beasts, the brothers tore through their opponents, a deadly duo that would have seemed unstoppable to the laundry machines, had they been able to fight back at the time.

Needless to say, two dwarves walked away victorious, and Tabby's laundry got off with holes, tears, and rags.

**AN: I AM SO SORRY. My internet has been dead and when I could get on, I couldn't upload anything. I'm sorry, I love you, and please review. More destructive Durin brothers in the next chapter, and maybe an enraged Tabby. All I can say is that Fíli and Kíli had better hide that hammer before Tabby gets home or else she just might attack them with it.**


	11. Chapter 11

The next two hours involved basic destruction. The two dwarves quickly got hungry again, so they ventured in to the kitchen once more. Fili began playing with the toaster, but burnt his hand. In surprise, he dropped it, causing it to shatter on the floor. Kili could only look on in dismay as springs flew everywhere.

Not that he was innocent. He had previously been playing with the microwave in the wall. While pressing buttons, the thing lit up and grew very, very hot. Hereby, Kili did the first thing that came to mind- he hit it with his hammer.

Needless to say, Tabby needs to buy herself a new microwave.

And then Fili was hit with a picture frame.

Now, this was entirely Kili's fault. He knew very well what a picture frame was and exactly how heavy it could be. He knew he shouldn't have touched it, but he did. The picture frame in question happened to hold a very large portrait of Tabby's great-great grandmother, Yvonne Marie Turcotte III. She was from France, and had been a very prominent artist in the 1800s. Tabby proudly hung a portrait of her in her parlor, over the dial that turns the lights on and off. Tabby liked the portrait because she found that in her youth, Madame Turcotte looked very much like Tabitha did today, with red curls and brilliant green eyes. Madame Turcotte didn't wear glasses, of course. But Tabby found that it was a nice comfort in a lonely house to be surrounded by pictures of her family, especially a family member who resembled her so greatly.

Kili noticed the dial when looking around the room. He removed the portrait from the wall to examine the dial. He did not, however, anticipate how heavy it was, and ended up dropping the large portrait on his brother's head. Now, this portrait was about 20 lbs, frame and all.

Fili went down like a ton of bricks.

Kili swore, running to his brother's side and pushing the heavy painting off of him. Fíli's eyes were wide open, and he wore a look of dazed shock.

"Brother?" Kili asked softly, with a concerned expression, "Are you alright?"

Fili looked up at him slowly, and Kili shrunk back at his fierce glare.

"Why? By Mahal, Kíli, why must you always touch things?" Fili cried in frustration, a large bump forming on his head. Kili sighed and stood up, offering his brother his hand. Fili waved him off, standing on his own.

"Sorry…" Kili apologized sheepishly.

Fili stared at him for a long while before rolling his eyes. "Well, at least you have the decency to be sorry about it." Kili saw the smirk on his face and knew that all was forgiven.

XXX

Tabby drove home singing. She hadn't wanted to leave Fili and Kili alone, but was now so glad that she had. Her publisher wanted her newest manuscript! She was moving up! She was in such a good mood that she stopped at the clothing store and bought two actual outfits for the brothers to wear.

She was so happy that she actually hoped that the brothers would have really just stayed in the guest room all day, not causing any trouble whatsoever. These hopes were quickly dashed once she stepped through the front door.

The whole house was a mess. Pictures lay on the ground, the kitchen was indescribable, and her living room had actually been set on fire. And in the middle of it all, stood the two brothers, looking terrified.

As Tabby surveyed the damage, a strangled choking sound tore from her throat. She sputtered and hissed until she looked directly at the two dwarves.

"My house…" She whispered, falling to her knees in despair. She glared at them before beginning to sob. "My house!" She went on like this for several minutes, the picture of misery. Fili and Kili exchanged nervous glances, silently debating who would be the one to say something. In the end, Fili emerged the victor.

"Uhh… Lady Tabitha…" Kili began, approaching her slowly.

"My house," She spat, standing suddenly and glaring at him. "My glorious, wonderful, beautiful, neat house. You've ruined it."

She approached them slowly. Bending down, she picked up a large axe that Fili had found in the backyard and brought inside. As she stared at the boys, Kili quickly realized that she was more than likely about to hack them to death with all the enthusiasm of a serial killer.

"I gave you shelter. I got you medical attention. I bought you clothes! And you set my house on fire?"

"Lady Tabitha-" Fili began, backing up slowly.

"No! My house! That TV cost 5,000 bucks! And you destroyed it! What am I going to do now? What the hell is the matter with you?" She swung the axe at Kili, who happened to be the nearest. She would have taken off his head had he not ducked. "You bastard! You ruined my life!" She howled, running after Fili, who had made a break for the front door. Standing in the parlor with an axe crazy Tabitha was never a good idea.

"Run, brother!" He called to Kili as Tabby began to catch up.

She swung the axe at his back, missing as he dodged. The axe connected with the doorframe instead. Tabitha swore as she pulled it out.

This distraction gave Kili, who of course had no intention of running, enough time to drab the knife from the ground. As Tabby swung around to meet him, axe collided with the steel of the "sword". Tabby's eyes widened in surprise, either from the fact that she wasn't the only armed one in the room, or that this was her knife. With a grunt of desperation, she pushed at his sword. But Kili was a good fighter, and within seconds he had her disarmed and on the ground, sword pointed at her chest in case she tried to make another move.

Now backed in to a corner by her own knife, Tabby whimpered in terror. After all, she had tried to kill them with a hatchet. What was stopping Kili from ending her right now?

"Tabby…" Kili began awkwardly, using her nickname in order to try and calm her down. "You need to take a moment to relax. Calm down. It's alright." He had never really tried to talk to someone who was so angry before.

"No!" She cried. "It's not! I have to live here! This is over $50,000 of damage!" At this point, most of her anger was gone, replaced by plain misery.

"We can pay it!" Fili replied, coming up behind his younger brother, lowering Kili's arm so that the sword wasn't about to impale Tabby. He had no idea what dollars were, but surely gold was worth something here.

"You can? How?" She sniffed.

Kili exchanged a glance with his brother before putting on a confident grin. "We are princes, remember? We have more wealth than you can possibly dream of. We have an entire mountain of gold at our disposal!"

Tabby gaped at him. "R-really?"

"Of course," Fili smiled. "But," he added hastily. " You can't try to kill us anymore."

"Oh!" Tabby cried, mood abruptly shifting. "No, of course not. That is, if you can really pay for all this."

Kili grinned, offering her a hand. She smiled slightly, wiping away her tears as he helped her to her feet. "Sorry I tried to kill you. That was a really bad idea."

"Yes, I think it was." Kili laughed slightly. Fili rolled his eyes at his brother. Even when he was almost murdered his brother was still a people person.

"Is there anything to eat?" Kili asked. "I'm hungry."

Tabby eyed the kitchen doubtfully. "Uhh… Who's up for pizza?"

XXX

That night, the heirs of Durin tried pizza for the first time.

"This is incredible!" Kili exclaimed, picking up his eighth piece. Tabby snorted.

"Good thing I got three boxes."

"We aren't eating that much," Laughed Fili, who was already on his seventh.

"You've eaten two boxes already." Tabby pointed out.

The two dwarves actually really seemed to like pizza. Tabby couldn't believe that they hadn't ever had it in their world.

That night, the three sat on Tabby's deck, after having thrown away most of the kitchen in order to get it into an acceptable state.

"I'm glad the kitchen is normal-ish now" Tabby sighed contently. It was cold that night, but sitting in her comfy deck chairs, the three hardly noticed. Tabby had her iPod playing and they stared out at the sky, talking quietly with each other.

After a long silence, Tabby began to sing along with her iPod softly. The song provided an nice soundtrack for the almost idyllic night, and the peace of sitting there.

**It's always summertime  
Here in my mind  
When  
I think of how we were when we went out, so very**

**Happy together  
Not afraid of forever  
But you changed your mind**

She stopped as suddenly as she began. Kili sighed at the sudden quiet. "You have a nice voice."

"Tabby blushed, but it was invisible in the darkness. "Thanks. I love to sing."

"Can you keep singing?" Kili asked softly. "I miss nice music. I used to have a fiddle."

"Why can't you sing?" Tabby asked. "I'm not that good."

"I don't know the song." He replied.

"Yes, please sing, Tabby." Fili broke in. "Your voice is lovely."

"Uhh… Okay." Tabby murmured, getting up to restart the song before sitting back down.

**It's always summertime  
Here in my miiiiind  
When  
I think of how we were when we went out, so very**

Fili grinned at his brother as Tabby sang. Kili looked so very peaceful and Fili felt a pang of concern. He had been thinking all day about the battle. He couldn't help but wonder whether everyone thought that they were dead. If they were transported here by magic of some sort, would anyone know where they were? How would they get home?

**Happy together  
Not afraid of forever  
But you changed your mind**

Kili smiled contently. Her voice was nice, smooth and pleasant. It wasn't an amazing voice, but it was nice to listen to. He stared up at the sky, seeing the moon shine between the trees. Was Thorin alive to see this moon?

**In life revised you never went away-ay  
I'm yours, you're mine, we never had to say  
Goodbaaiiiiiiiiiye  
Goodbaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiye iye iye**

Fili jumped slightly at the change in rhythm. It was a nice change though, and turned his thoughts to more pleasant things. If everyone did think that they were dead, surely they would be so happy when they returned home. Then the siege would be over and Thorin would reign glorious as King Under The Mountain, and mother would come to Erebor along with all of Fili and Kili's friends, and life would be perfect.

**It's always wintertime  
Here in my mind  
When  
I think about the way that things turned out, so very**

As the song resumed a calm pace, Kili relaxed. Perhaps this would all just be some sort of grand adventure. Then Thorin would find them and take them home, just as he had when they got lost as dwarflings. Thorin was okay. How could he not be? He was Thorin.

**Broken beyond repair  
I'm here  
and you're there  
cause you changed your mind**

Tabby wondered what was going through the two brothers' heads. She knew that it must be hard for them, being so far away from what ever mountain or sanitarium or rabbit hole they had come from. She felt bad, for trying to kill them, really- she had just gotten so mad. Maybe her mother was right, maybe she should try the anger management classes again

**In life revised you never went away-ay  
I'm yours, you're mine, we never had to saaaay - aaay - aaay  
Goodbaaiiiiiiiiiye  
Goodbaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiye – aaiiiiiiiiiye**

Tabby ended the song, panting slightly. There was silence after that, but a peaceful silence. Tabby caught Kili smile at her encouragingly, and she felt sort of happy. No one had ever liked her singing before.

"So, Tabby, this is a nice place. Is it all yours?" Kili asked, not realizing that the house could be a touchy subject. Thankfully, Tabby didn't notice.

"Well, yeah. I own it and stuff. I've been here a few months or so. I'm pretty well off, so I can afford a lot. It gets lonely sometimes, being all alone and stuff, but I don't mind. I get work done, I make money, everything's fine."

"Why do you live all alone?" Fili asked. To him, it sounded dreadful to be alone all the time.

"No one to live with. My parents house… Well, after dad left, it was kind of depressing, and then the whole Ashley thing… I have a small family to begin with. Dad isn't in the picture, so we don't know his family. My grandparents are dead, so there's just Mom, Clara, Ash and me. There's Aunt Kate, Cecile's mom, and her husband, Jason. And Cecile, of course. But we don't see them much, so… Although now Clara's married, apparently, which I didn't even know."

"How-" Kili stopped, not wanting to offend her by even asking how one would not know something like that.

"I don't know." She replied simply, understanding his meaning. There was silence for a moment before she spoke up again. "I probably seem a bit odd to you, huh?"

Fili shrugged. "We've met stranger."

"Elves." Kili added.

Tabby gave him a weird look. "Uhh, yeah." She laughed. "I mean, I tried to kill you before, and… Yeah, that's not good. I just have mood swings a lot."

"How come?"

"Well…" Tabby frowned, not looking at either dwarf. "I'm bipolar. I've been that way since I was, like, twelve."

"What's bipolar?" Fili asked, looking at her in concern.

"Mood swings. I don't really want to get in to it." She replied. "Anyway, I get mad a lot. I hate it."

"Well, you shouldn't run after people with axes." Kili frowned, before yawning and drawing his knees up to his chest. It was getting late and he was tired.

"I know, I know. I'm really sorry, I just snapped. That's not normal." Tabby stood up. "Anyway… I'm going to bed."

"Could we sleep out here?" Fili asked her, seeing his brother falling asleep in the chair. "It's nice out tonight, and after sleeping under the mountain and not being able to go outside for so long, it would be nice."

"Alright." Tabby replied, shrugging. "Have fun." She walked in her room, changed and crawled in to bed with Lynx the cat.

"Oh, Lynxie…" She whispered. "What have we gotten ourselves in to?"

Softly, she began to sing again, the last verse that she had cut off before.

**It's always summertime  
In my mind  
Until I remember  
You changed your mind  
Until I remember  
Life can't be revised  
Until I remember  
We said goodbaaaiiiye**

**AN: Okay, a big reveal. Tabby get's some character development and goes axe crazy. Fun.**

**Tell me your opinion on this, because I've been dropping little hints throughout the story to Tabby's bipolar disorder. She has mood swings a lot, and her family is really worried about her living on her own so young, and so invested in her work.**

**The song is Always Summertime by The Gregory Brothers. I love Sarah's voice, it's amazing. Please don't hate me for putting a song in. I thought it would be a good opportunity to see inside each character's head. Besides, Tolkien did it! The lyrics are by the Gregory Brothers, so any misspellings there are theirs. **

**Flames make hobbits cry!****  
**


	12. Chapter 12 PATHETIC FILLER

AN: I know that this is short- no, beyond short. It's pathetic, really. But I've had something wrong with my lungs all this week. I can hardly breathe, so I'm kinda worried. If I don't post within a week, I probably died. And I'm going on vacation tomorrow, so this is just a quick insight in to what is going on back in Middle Earth as well as some sinister happenings in good ol' normal Earth. I'm gonna be on vacation, so don't expect an update for a few days. Here's to hoping I don't die.

The great king under the mountain was dead.

Thorin Oakenshield was dead and Erebor had no king. Balin knew that the heirs must be found. Fili had last been seen defending his uncle along with his brother. As Thorin lay dying, he had claimed that he had seen his nephews fall.

Balin spent the day after the battle searching the battlefield. Slain corpses of orcs littered the field, the foul black blood blemishing the grass. He searched, seeing dwarves he had once known and called friends, as well as elves whom he recognized from their time in captivity. He could not bring himself to care a great deal about the life of an elf, but thinking of the lively, cheerful brothers among the dead sickened him.

He and others searched all that day and all the next, and finally, at the end of the second day, it was accepted that Fili and Kili could not be alive.

"The heirs have fallen defending their uncle." Balin would announce that night.

There was, of course, a great deal of concern over who exactly would rule over the Lonely Mountain now. That was still to be decided, but Balin knew that it would more than likely go to Dain Ironfoot. He himself was not happy about this. For all that they had suffered, Dain had sat in the Iron Hills doing absolutely noting to aid them, and now he would become king, while three very worthy and deserving true kings lay dead.

Dis arrived on the day after the battle, having been staying in the Iron Hills for several months and followed the army when they marched down to aid Thorin. She was devastated to hear of her brother's death, and personally went out among the battle field to search for her sons, to no avail. The bodies of the dwarven princes could not be found, and they were presumed dead.

The news of their demise destroyed her, but she kept her composure as a true dwarven princess should. She would cry, yes, but not where anyone could see her. Balin felt utter sympathy for her. She had lost so much- her brother Frerin, her father, her grandfather, her husband and now her oldest brother and her beloved sons. She was all alone.

Balin wished that there was something that he could do- Dis was now left with no one at all, and he felt horrible. But the stubborn dwarven woman would not accept charity, and yet was too proud to admit defeat. Dis was strong, Balin knew. She would get through this.

While the bodies of the two heirs of Durin were missing, it was also notable that the body of Azog the Pale was also missing. It could be assumed that he had either been killed or had fled with the survivors. Balin hoped that he would not be causing problems for them again.

The night the announcement was made, Erebor mourned. No longer did they have a king. What was to become of them now?

XXXX

It was late. Kristopher knew that he should be getting home, but he had somehow managed to loose his little sister Kara while walking back from his friend's house. They had taken a shortcut through the woods, and Kara had run off somewhere. Kris didn't know where she had gone.

"Kara?" He called softly, peering behind a tree, expecting to see his six year old sister crouched behind it, waiting to jump out and scare him. "This really isn't funny."

He looked around, beginning to get worried. With a glance at his watch, he saw that it was almost eight o'clock. Mom would be really worried, he had promised to be home by seven. Stupid Kara just had to run off and leave him all alone in the dark woods at night. What if there were bears?

Kris began to get worried when there was still no sign of Kara. What if she had fallen into a hole or something? He had done that once. The hole was really deep, and he couldn't climb out by himself. Mom had said that it was a hunter's trap. He hoped that Kara hadn't fallen in one of them.

A sudden, shrill scream pierced the darkness and Kris jumped, racing off toward the sound.

He came out into a clearing, and was shocked by what he saw. Little Kara was staring up at a gigantic pale monster that towered over her. Humanoid in shape but clearly nothing of this world, it had to be at least seven feet tall.

She was slowly backing up. The creature, not noticing that Kris had come up behind it, swiped at Kara, catching her purple dress. There was a ripping sound and two large gashes appeared in the dress. Kris was relieved to see that the creature hadn't cut his sister's skin.

Kara fell to the ground and screamed again as the creature howled. It was a chilling sound, monstrous and cold. By sheer instinct, Kris grabbed a large stick from the ground and hurled it at the creature.

The stick struck it and the creature howled again, spinning around to meet Kris. Kara took off into the dark woods and Kris hoped that she wouldn't go far. He spun around and ran back the was he came, the creature following closely behind,

Kris knew that he had no chance at outrunning the beast. With a sudden inspiration, he grabbed at a low-hanging tree branch and pulled himself up, climbing higher and higher until he was high above the monster's head. It hadn't seen him climb up and looked about for him briefly before slinking back to whatever hell-hole it had come from.

Kris jumped out of the tree and took off running towards the town, meeting his sister along the way. No one believed the story of the two children who had been attacked by a monster that night, even though it was spread about town by the next morning. Looking back, Tabby realized that she should have listened when she heard it. She hadn't known it wasn't just a story then.

Unfortunately, the great monster in the woods was all too real.


End file.
